Now. How do we do this? Through my 3am tears I'll try to explain.
Depression appears in waves. And when the waves arrives it floods. I have no reason to feel the way I do. No logic. On the outside it seems as if I'm doing better than I have in a long time. But I always hide. I don't like to show how I feel because I don't want people to worry. I guess that's why I'm writing this. As a way of actually sharing.
I'm not okay right now. It'll pass but right now I'm not okay. That's why sometimes I leave for a while and I don't post because I can't face it. I worry that I will go away again and not post for months. But so far, I've always come back.
The point of writing this was to tell you that right now I can't find the words to say. There's nothing I want to write about but I don't want to stop posting all together. School is slowly killing me but it'll be over in around ten weeks. Maybe then I'll feel more like I can talk because my mind won't be full of the things that happened that day. So if I'm gone for a few weeks, now you know why and maybe I won't feel so bad about it.
